This blonde-haired mom of three in Liberty, Missouri has become a sweet friend to my soul. I see her wholly pursuing Jesus in her life. I know she pours deeply into her family, her church, her city — and I see the light that radiates. So do others. What I love most about this woman is that she is pure and honest. And don’t we all need some pure and honest in a world of lies and complex? So meet, Carrie from my Etched life. Because all women can resonate on this one. Every single one of us.
So there I was. Frozen. Head in my hands. Sobbing. And my family staring at me like I had three heads. Why, you ask? Not sure. Actually, after talking for a long while with my husband, I identified the culprit.
You see, for the past year, I’ve been running on hyper drive and my tank is quickly depleting. The gas light has been on for awhile begging me to refuel, but I try to push it just one more day…one more week…one more month.
I’m not really sure how this has happened. I can look at my calendar for any given day and it looks like I have plenty of margin in my life. But, when I’m living it, my time seems to get sucked away before I even realize what hit me.
Part of the reason for this is I have a lot on my plate. I’m a wife, mom of 3 kids, work two part-time jobs, exercise with my friend, read my Bible and pray every morning, and get my kids to their activities. Life is busy, but surely there are a few minutes for me to just sit and rest, right?!
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” Exodus 14:14
I’m also not very good with time management. If I would just sit, focus on the task, complete it, and move on — I would probably have more time. But, instead, I get distracted because of poor planning. I chase shiny squirrels and fast-moving objects.
My husband and I were talking through this and he asked me a great question: “What is the reason you do each of these things?” It may seem a little surface-y, but he had a point. If I look at all the things on my plate and can identify my reason for doing each one, then I can be super focused and more disciplined with my time. I can have a purpose and a mission and a reason for attending that meeting or staying up late to finish a project. I can keep my eyes focused on why Jesus has me in a certain place, doing a certain thing, with a purposeful mission.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2
So I was thinking… why is it when I ask someone how they are, either their response or mine is “good, but busy.” What is busy? Are we really that busy? Or it just feels that way? Or we don’t manage our time well? I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live that way. I don’t want to be busy just for the sake of being busy. I don’t want to stretch myself so thin that I experience burnout. I want to have margin in my life and time to meet a friend for coffee. Time to let God work in my life and use me in the lives of others. I want to live a life that’s purposeful and advancing the Gospel. When people see me, I want them to see the light of Christ shining so brightly they are blinded — not a stressed out, tired, blood-shot-eyed woman running around being impatient with everyone. I want Jesus to be my focus.
Matthew 11:28 says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Yes, Jesus, I need rest. My burden is heavy and I’m oh so weary. Take my load and help me rest.
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