How to Run Back to our First Love

I can’t get the picture out of my mind. The picture of first love. My sister got engaged this weekend and this one boy and this one girl are out-of-their-minds in love with each other. I’ve prayed for this for years; for a boy to adore my sister and to love God. He does both of those and I can exhale beautifully because once again God is writing a beautiful love story.


Because isn’t knowing God a beautiful love story?


Kyle (the boy, the new family member, the one being initiated into all our crazy) outdid himself. He tactfully planned and executed the engagement. He called in the troops: friends and family; he coordinated calendars (bless) and mapped out his course (Hello, amazing). He had us all meet at the Botanical Gardens in Fort Worth and handed us each a rose and a picture with a handwritten note on the back. He situated us down a path and he stood at the end with his bouquet of roses.


Imperfectly Brave


He waited (in high hopes) for His bride. He might of been holding his breath, but He didn’t show it. He stood peaceful, ready, sure. And Bailey, well, she didn’t know she was going to have the moment of her life thus far. She had no clue. Her engagement was unexpected and romantic and lovely.


{Note: Can we all just give a big round of applause to these young men who have started coordinating such extravagant events? These boys who loved trucks and trains from a young age, all of a sudden are forced into flowers and rings and practically asked to dangle off a high rise in order to impress a young woman. Men, we see what you are doing and it is beautiful. Thank you for dabbling in roses and romance for the sake of love. We melt.}


Bailey walked into the pavilion and slowly started walking down a long line of people handing her roses and a note. She savored it — you could tell. All the people, all the words, the smell of the roses, all the thoughts. She absorbed it all and let it sink in. This is what she prayed for. A love worth savoring.


Imperfectly Brave




Bailey ended her trail of roses with her mom who gave her a quick squeeze, then she put her hand over her mouth and looked to her left. There was the boy, the prince, her guy, down on one knees. She started to step a bit faster and hurried to his arms. First love.


First love always puts a new bounce in our step.


Imperfectly Brave

Imperfectly Brave


We don’t need to know what Kyle said to her or what those to whispered into each other’s hearts when she fell into his arms. It’s not for us to know because first loves can be our tell-alls, our sweet nothings, our heavenly whispers.  But eventually the whole crew of us heard, a YES! and saw a jump and a man rise to standing. And isn’t it beautiful that in a first love the man always kneels, always serves, always respects, always loves?


We shared in their joy and laughed with them and toasted wildly to their future. Yes!  We are meant to live in a love story. It is why we were created. To love and be loved, and all of it points to ONE LOVE. The love Jesus has for His church; for His girls, for His daughters….for his guys too, but isn’t it nice to be a girl and live in the romance of wild grace




Because, I don’t know where you are today, but I want to tell you where your God is. On His knee, waiting for you because He always upholds, kneels, loves and serves. He will always be our first love if we let Him.


Imperfectly Brave


But somedays, He isn’t my first love and it is only a fault of my own. To be terribly honest, after the Imperfectly Brave Weekend, it has been easy to walk away from Him. I needed Him so much while writing and preparing. There was planning and prepping and leaning in and listening. I wanted His throne room. I longed for His presence.


But when I start functioning in my own whims and on my own schedule, I stop needing my first love. Maybe that is why He is always calling us to deeper waters — to lean in further to Him. To let His presence cover us so that we smell like Him, look like Him and develop His quirks.


And this leads me to Faith with a capital F because maybe we need to start capitalizing the things that are every importance to us. And maybe it’s why God desires faith from us and nothing else — so that we are always in desperate need of our first love. Maybe that’s what keeps us from pushing first love to last love.


I think of Bailey rounding the corner and seeing her guy. I think about the bounce in her step, the joy and the wild abandonment. She didn’t take time to look back or look side to side. She focused and ran into His arms. And I guarantee if you asked her today, she would do it all over again — in utter and reckless abandonment.


So today, I am praying a first love prayer. Oh God, be my first love. I know you are there kneeling, waiting and holding beautiful treasures for me. I know you want to lift me higher because in so doing, you are lifted higher. I know your presence will be the only true satisfaction for all my days. I’m rounding the corner into your arms. I know you are waiting. Hold on, I am coming.


Amen and amen.

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