My prayer for IF : Gathering is that God would manifest Himself. He did. I am in awe. I want to sit down with every soul and tell the story of what God did in and through me as well as the way He ignited a whole throng of women. But since I can’t and I am only human, I will pray. I’m finding prayer is my best place. I think it is the place that calls me out into the most dangerous places anyway. So here I let my domino fall into Jesus and I pray it makes me dangerous, brave and
seasoned, dabbled, drenched in faith. Lord, hear my whole heart…
I want to remember. I am begging you to remember what You spoke to me at IF : Gathering. I made sure that when You spoke, I wrote it all down because I know myself: I am going to slip. I am going to want to resort back to my old ways. I am going to want to take the glory. I know me and I want to beg for your forgiveness.
God, can I just get it all out there? Sometimes I use people. Sometimes I use people because I think they can bring me something. And what’s even worse (and I am so sorry, God) is that sometimes I think I can use You like You are going to give me something when You have already given me everything. I am the worst, Lord. Please forgive me.
And God, while I am saying the words, sometimes I plan out my future and white knuckle it to death. Yeah, I just kill my future because my grip is so strong. I want so desperately to stop white knuckling all the things, people, dreams, and hopes. Teach me Jesus, to let You hold all things and then let me abide. Please let me abide.
And in the abiding let me not forget what You said to me. You said three things to me — four really — but one is what You’ve called me to and the others are how You are going to do it. It’s backwards. All of it is so backwards, but Lord — hear this — I say, YES.
Lord, I know that You’ve said it over me: Start with prayer. Pray to me. Give heed to my throne. Beg Me for more of My Glory on your city. And so I have been — imperfectly — but I am begging. I know my call. I am claiming it for this season and for however long you want to give it to me. To plant seeds for a prayer revolution. To give eyes to our bravest place. To literally fight for this one thing because it will be the start of everything. So yes, God. I say yes to this. And I will go with Your battle plan although it’s the wildest.
God, with the call, came the plan. I am just laying it before you because it’s all I can do. I’m writing it out so that You can hold me accountable. I need to be held accountable. You and I both know this, God. So, now to the plan. Surely, it’s good and strategic. Surely it is filled with big dreams and big gifts and big ways. Surely.
You said in order to see a generation of women be imperfectly brave, I must remain small. My focus must remain small. (Can I say as a dreamer + visionary this seems awfully hard but you are The Dreamer and The Visionary and this is how you changed the world. Small). But, then you snuck in a few other words. You said Global. You said Eternal. So, how do I know those words are from you? They don’t make any sense. That’s how.
So Lord, make me small. Make me care most about the shoulders that I touch. I want to be JUST LIKE YOU. I want to bend over to those on the sidewalks. I want to give them good sight of my face and let them see in my eyes that I really care. I want to hold their shoulders in my two hands and give way with big breath the glory of the gospel — Your love. Make me not afraid, God. And when I try to get too big, I want to remember small. You love my city. You placed me in my city. Let me love my city really well. Let me let go of the numbers and the lofty and the prestige. Give me courage in my own place. So yes, Lord I say, YES to small.
And Jesus, then You said global. When You say global; You mean it. You mean that You love all those humans walking around the whole earth and I love that You do this and love them all so well. But I am going to go with your example. You made global change by pouring into a few. You made ripple effects by passionately and sacrificially giving Your whole life. So in the small, I am trusting that You will exponentially make that global. I’m not sure how, God. But I am going to trust You. So all I can do is say Yes. That somehow You will make small…global. And You can because You are God, so I am resting right here, knowing it’s enough.
And finally, You said eternal, because what hit me most of all the words and stories and dancing and smiling and laughing at IF, is that back home I have people all around me that will go to hell right now if they died. I’m not okay with that. Make me care more about eternity than my daily. You need to teach me how to do this. Empower me. Literally take over my mind so that I can live like this. I need You. Give me the weight of eternity, not just for my own hope, but let it drive everything I do. Every single thing.
And finally, God, can I just say? I wanted you to say other things to me, like: GO BIG! BUILD BIGGER! THINK LOFTIER! But You didn’t. You said, “Small. Love those around you well and let Me breathe life into that. Let Me show My glory. Let Me build big, while you stay small. Let Me give global ramifications while you stare into the one life. Then the next life and the next. Let Me pour out eternity while you live daily.”
So yes, God. I say yes.
I say YES to the words AND the call. Prayer Revolution. How? Small, Global and Eternal. I trust You, Jesus. I am going to trust You like crazy on this one even though I feel like You’ve asked me to walk around a building and toot my horn for seven long days. I will trust when You speak to me. At least I know I am in good company and that one by one, walls will fall and impossible possibilities will appear.
I love you, Jesus. Don’t let me forget what You said. Please don’t ever let me forget. In Your Mighty Name I Pray. Amen.