God desires that we leave a life of perfectionism and be willing to be transformed into His likeness – to be sanctified. Letting go isn’t as easy journey, but it is a worthwhile one.
In fact, letting go is quite literally one of the hardest things God asks me to do. Every night I hold my Collins girl in my arms and we follow the same routine. We pray that God would keep and protect her in the night. We pray for our friends and for everything near and dear to an almost two-year-olds heart. (Yeah, you know, for Teddy and for fruit snacks, for Elsa and for Anna). Bless those Disney princesses, they probably receive more prayer than mommies and daddies around the world. Most importantly, we pray that she would come to know Jesus as her Savior and that she would follow passionately after Him. I hold this prayer so close to my heart and I plead whispers to God as her body wraps around mine.
Please O God. Save her.
Then we sing Jesus loves me and more often than not, that song touches my soul more than it does hers. Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so, little ones to Him belong, they are weak, but He is strong….
and I come undone.
Finally, we roll call. We tell her that Mommy loves her, Daddy loves her, Carter loves her, but most importantly God loves her. Then I give her one big squeeze around her little body and set her under the turquoise sheets.
I don’t get to control whether or not my daughter chooses to follow Christ. I can do my best as a parent, but ultimately it is out of my hands. This is simply the scariest part of parenting. LETTING GO.
God asks me not only to let go of my daughter and place her in His hands, but He asks me to let go of everything. He asks me to be willing to be sanctified. he asks me to follow one task and that is to love the Lord God with all my heart – out of this everything else will flow. My love for others, my willing heart, open hands and FREEDOM.
Control is such an allusive thing because let me look you in the eye and whisper a hard truth,
you have no control.
Neither do I. At least we are in this together. Thank goodness.
What we do have is a God who sent His one and only Son to die on a cross for our messed up, broken lives. He has redeemed every part of us – every single part – and because of that we are forever set free. Do you hear the chains falling to the ground?
The glue that often holds our chains together is control. I have wondered this week, have I run so far in front of God at times to put my stamp of approval on something that He has whispered, “I had something so much better waiting for you.” Think about it. Have you?
I want to enjoy the journey. I want to live with palms wide open to what He has to give me. I want to let His perfect sacrifice be enough for me. I want to be faithful to God and let Him do the rest.
If this is the case, my perfect pursuit of control and a life of perfectionism, could quite literally keep me from the very best parts of my life. I don’t want to live in this trap. This is a prison of its own. Control is a cold, concrete prison of my own making.
I want to let God be God and I want to be the child in His lap. In redefining perfectionism, I am praying bold prayers. That I see God move in ways I am not expecting, that He SHOW UP in my life as I walk around with hands wide open and that I rest knowing that the best life is the life that lets go.