When Our Grabby Little Hands Keep Slipping ::: And Only Faith Remains

I feel like we are just getting to know each other – you and I. There is so much to get to know about you; like a marriage, where you are constantly learning about who the other is. Who knew my husband tucked his pajama pants into his socks to stay warmer throughout the night? You know, I once thought that was off  the charts WEIRD – LOON BEHAVIOR – until just the other day,


OH MY HEAVENS, I woke up with my pajama pants tucked into my socks.


I kind of wish I knew your ticks (like tucking in your pajama pants or wearing a side pony to bed). I want to know the things that drive you wild. Would you mind telling me how you spend your hours because I am sure it is a whole lot of eating bon-bons and watching soap operas.


As for me, I have two sweet girls – one who turns two today (and I just CAN’T EVEN). I married this adorable redhead who actually loves me like crazy and I love him right back. We have our qualms, like when we toss around Matthew 25 and we get all in a tizzy. I know this is what most folks get into heated dates about: cars, discipline and Matthew 24. BLESS OUR LITTLE HEARTS. Because I am married to this hilarious (but really, actually funny) Baptist pastor, which makes me this awkward Baptist pastor’s wife.


For the record, I love being Baptist – just LOVE it. I am totally for the doctrine of our Baptist roots and I could not love the people of our 160-year-old church more. What makes me awkward is a whole myriad of things, one being that I coached dance for pete’s sake. In my little white church, with its history of charging people with dancing (yes, there is proof) I can feel very out of place. Regardless, I am very much for the unity of the body. This is another topic for another coffee date though. Let’s go grab a latte again soon.


On top of being a mama, a wife and a PV, I spend my Monday-Thursday at this little place called Liberty Women’s Clinic. Every day – every SINGLE day – lost men and women come into our clinic seeking love and forgiveness and answers. Every SINGLE day, we give it to them.


We are a clinic that offers free pregnancy tests and ultrasounds to women who are in an unplanned pregnancy. We meet these young ladies right where they are, we listen to all their fears and we set them on this long uncomfortable table and point their eyes to a screen. Within seconds, we show girls the little baby that God is forming right there in her womb.


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Every day there are tears. Every day there are lives saved. Every day grace is poured out. Every day we long to love these women just how Jesus would 2000 years ago. Last year alone, God moved and over 260 babies are crying and crawling and moving about because a mama saw the flicker of a heartbeat.


And the hands of God, who formed that one is so very pleased by the work at LWC. I just know it.


Working here has taught me more than I could have ever imagined. QUITE LITERALLY. In fact, working at LWC and serving as a pastor’s wife is why Imperfectly Brave Living was actually birthed. But all of that is for another coffee date. (We really have so much to catch up on, you and I. Maybe we should do dinner instead.)


Because we have grown so much in the ten plus years the Clinic has been open, we have grown right out of our building. In fact, we close on a new building that triples our space very soon.  Do you want to know what the enemy does when the kingdom is expanding? He fights even harder.


In this past week, we have rode some of the highest highs and hit some of the lowest lows. I have longed to be in control. I wanted to get my grabby little hands around some of the things, but they seemed quite slippery and so I finally let go. (I make a terrible god, by the way, my decisions tend to go this way).


Since God knows how much I would love to control ALL THE THINGS, He has made it nearly impossible to take any reigns this week. Tell me girl – have you ever – JUST EVER – felt completely out of control?  Yes? Ok, great. We are in good company.


In this lose of control; I keep going back to my anchor. Without faith, it is impossible to please God. 


All the greats in the Bible? They weren’t great in control, they were great in faith.


They didn’t try to button up their pretty little life and muzzle it with perfectionism. They let loose and lived by their faith. How wild and crazy would it be to live this way? Knowing that it is my faith that pleases God, not the ways I try to control my life. And then I might really be able to taste and see that God is good.


“Oh taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear Him, have no lack! The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.” Psalm 34:8-10


So, girl, how is He asking you to pursue Him this week? How is your faith? We all need encouragement. We all need to draw back into His courts. How can I encourage you today? Let’s wrestle through our faith together.

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