Why Imperfectly Brave Living?
I have had to ask myself this question several times this week.
Why, God, did you call me to write Imperfectly Brave? Remind me because I feel like I am losing it. I am losing the weight of this brave life you have called me to.
Would you remind me?
And wouldn’t you know – He did.
After being wholly unraveled last week, I locked eyes with Jesus once again. Last week was the week after Easter. How quickly I forget. Last week the church was full and fancy with shiny people and shiny faces. This week the church wasn’t.
Do you know what that does to a pastor and his wife? Crushes them.
Just one week before, it was all hands raised, heart pumping, tomb emptying JESUS. This week was all routine going, scripture reading, blue-carpeting, fake-flowering church.
Is this what you wanted Jesus? Is this why you left us here? To keep your blue carpet clean?
I want God so much and I want His ways to win so much and I can’t ever get close enough to Him because once I get more, I want more.
This is God. This is church. This is love. It is relentless, wave after wave.
So why, the week after Easter, are we back to square one again? I wish I could give a really clear and concise answer. One with lots of bullet points and strategic goals. I can’t. I only have hard things.
Things have got to change, sister. We have got to redefine. We have got to want to be a part of the story. We have got to taste God’s love in order to be God’s love.
So in between the two – Easter and the Sunday after – a team hosted the Liberty Women’s Clinic banquet to help raise more money for more babies to be saved.
And let me tell you what – CHURCH.
Would you just know that there was a room in Kansas City, Missouri of believers filled from every different church, around really pretty round tables, listening to story after story of why every life matters? Would you even know that we all sang worship songs together and God was PLEASED with the Methodists///Baptists///Lutherans///Presbyterians///Catholics///Men and Women? Would you even know that money came out of pockets so that young women would experience grace and love while in an unplanned pregnancy?
Would you even know believers were capable of such a beautiful sight?
Church is when Jesus gets under our feet and we realize that unconditional love is the only way. It is when God gets bigger than our blue carpets and our fake flowers and our traditions. It is when we relentlessly love our community because in it God looks GOOD.
This is why imperfectly brave exists. He has given me a taste of the goodness of His people here on earth. I see it some days in my little white church and I see it some days at Liberty Women’s Clinic. In between Easter Sunday and the Sunday after, He gave me the hope of Imperfectly Brave Living all over again because HIS PEOPLE CAN.
We are going to have to fight for this life. We aren’t going to be imperfectly brave sitting down. We are going to keep our eyes focused on the empty tomb and we are going to battle for the CHURCH because CHURCH.
So even though in the complete unravel of my thirty-year-old soul last week, He brought me in tender and cupped my face. This is imperfectly brave living. Let me remind you. There is a reason I have called you out into the battlefield, but if you are going to fight, you better lean in close.
So He made me, and may He make you to lean in, too. Because, beautiful girl, there are souls to win and love to be fought for. And I do believe it ranks higher than the color of our carpets.