I have gotten up three times this week and gotten fully ready. The works. I brushed my teeth, teased my hair (because Texas ya’ll, Texas) and even put on jewelry. Within minutes of walking out the door, someone has thrown up in my home. I mean, open the door, planner in hand, lunch packed and – BAM! – new agenda created for the day.
I wish I could tell you that I said, “Oh, good! A day to snuggle and stare into my daughter’s eyes.” Nope, that thought didn’t cross my mind at all. The first screaming thought to infiltrate my brain was I CAN’T. I just CAN NOT. God, don’t you see my plight?
Five minutes at home, I was already jotting down my to-do list at work that is just about a country-mile long, That doesn’t count everything that is looming in my future.
In just a few short weeks, my world is slightly bombarded:
At work, we are hosting 500 men and women for the Liberty Women’s Clinic banquet. Collins – my pumpkin – turns two, and I with true excitement turn 30. THIRTY FOLKS. So many of my friends have dreaded this day and I actually can’t wait. I am begging God to move (Do you hear me, God?) in this decade and I can’t wait to catch His shirttails.
Oh yeah, and on top of that, I am praying like a crazy person over here for Imperfectly Brave Living. I have set my own deadlines to have the book completed and am taking all sorts of faith steps to see how God might use it.
And then someone throws up and I could have just waved my hands and surrender. White flag anyone? Just tell me you haven’t called for a white flag this week? Last week? Last month? Did that last crumb on the table DO YOU IN? Or what about the time that your child threw that tantrum in target and people STOPPED AND STARED. Or could it be the last item your co-worker threw on top of your already towering agenda? Could you have just cried?
Oh my friend, I wish I could take you out to coffee and we could just talk it out and we would breath deep breaths. I would pick up your white flag and set it at His throne with you. There we would sit, my white flag and yours – a picture of our ultimate surrender.
Let me take your hands from across the table and speak something into your soul that needs to be spoken into mine.
As we redefine perfectionism and this desire to get all the things done, in all the right timing, to please all the right people and make all the right marks — we can leave God right out of it.
But if I am going to believe all of scripture is true then I need to believe that God doesn’t want me boasting in myself. In fact, He is going to work in such a way that I simply CAN NOT boast in myself. Of course, in my bible-believing self, the intentions of my heart aren’t to boast in me, but truth be told, I am human and if given the opportunity I have a tenancy to go there.
God in all His glory is looking for someone to surrender wholly and lay out their white flag. He is looking for someone to spend time at His feet and wet them with tears, asking Him to come through because we have come to the end of ourselves. He is saying, “Have faith in my ways and my timing. Have faith in ME. Have faith in an Almighty God.”
And so we do. So I am. Would you go there with me today? Would you just come undone at His throne? Lay it down and let Him know that you have faith that His ways are better than your ways…His ways are higher than your ways. Wet His feet with your tears and then arise CHILD OF THE LIVING GOD. Your white flag is enough.